My handsome husband & I
Last September my husband and I joined our new church after about a month or two of attending. It truly has been an incredible blessing to our family, our spiritual growth, and our spiritual strength! We hit a rough patch in our lives and our marriage last year before we joined that was a complete eye opener. (It was important for us to get right with God before we committed to joining a church and the whole situation was a testimony to how God's timing is always the right timing!) I'm not going to share every little story or problem we encountered, it's a private thing and we all should keep our private lives private, but please heed my advice. I do give it with love and a little smidgen of experience! What I will say is it's simply amazing how disobeying the Lord can tear you apart piece by piece while simultaneously tearing apart your home. Proverbs 14:1 tells us "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." I was doing just that; foolishly, selfishly plucking my house down one brick at a time, letting the devil sneak right through the threshold of my front door to freely roam.
I am a true believer that a wife should reverence her husband, build him up, and show him you love him, always. Not easy to hear when WE THINK he's being less than perfect, not helping around the house, or working too much. I'm speaking from experience when I say criticism (even if you think it is constructive) and a bad attitude (even if it is not his fault.. just you having a lot of bad days) can and will slowly bring your husband down to a whittled twig that you casually and unknowingly step on during your daily walk. I'm not saying don't have a bad day. Your husband should be there for you on your bad days, but don't drag it out. It won't happen over night but give it 6 months, a year, 10 years. Eventually he will grow tired of your lack of respect and foolishness. Tell him you love him every day he walks in the door. Give him a hug and a kiss whenever you get the chance. Don't complain around him about anything that he has done wrong or failed to do. Focus on all the positive attributes, even if only a few, instead of the negative.... And watch him flourish knowing his wife loves him!!
When I look back on what is written above I can't help but think of my Mamaw, Daisy. What a beautiful example of a virtuous woman. I wasn't very proficient on Bible knowledge growing up but she was the light of my Papaw's life, and he hers. I never heard my Mamaw say an ill word to my Papaw. She always had a smile on her face and you could see the love they had shared for years was blossoming even in their frail and old age. When Mamaw passed away in May 2011, a year and a half after my Papaw passed, the preacher at her funeral said "If I could sum up the life of Sister Daisy it would be this verse.. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." (Prov 31:10) He was so right. She was the most humble and virtuous woman I had ever known. An amazing example of a woman who merely wanted to please her Lord by pleasing her husband.
Mamaw and I at my wedding, September 9, 2006
Mamaw and I at my wedding, September 9, 2006
In 2010 after joining our church my husband and I attended the annual Couple's Retreat hosted by Shawnee Baptist Church at their beautiful Indian Creek Baptist Camp, a ministry of the church. We made it a very serious and necessary point to go to the retreat. It was important to our marriage that we surround ourselves with Christian couples in an environment that would focus on marriage. What an incredible, and I mean IN-CRED-I-BLE blessing it was to us! During one sermon the preacher went verse by verse through 1 Corinthians 13, telling us about charity (Christian love). Here is a short post I published that has the verses listed for quick reference if you wish: How do you describe love...
There was a period during the first evening that the ladies and men got separated so the preacher's wife could speak to us, and the preacher speak to the men. That was a wonderful blessing also (speaking from my experience... hubby said he thoroughly enjoyed the men's part but I can't speak too much for him)... Just to hear her personal story and her wisdom and advice on how we can be better wives... could not have asked for more!
What I loved from last year was when I looked around, I knew that all of the couples have experienced a little, or even a lot, of turbulence. We have endured struggles of all sorts, arguments, fights, maybe separations, some even divorces, remarriages, learning to raise our children, not being able to have children... the list just goes on. What made it just a joyous fellowship was knowing that we were all children of God, saved by His grace and forgiven of our sins. What better way to spend two days out of your year, completely surrounded by Godly people who want nothing more than to please Him, and what better place to let it start than with our marriage.
I just want to be a blessing to ladies around me. I'm young and learning my way through life and still have a lot to learn ahead of me. I am so thankful for the Christian ladies who have inspired me through their blogs, speakings, and even the ones who inspire me visually through their mannerisms and modesty.
Couple's Retreat - October 2010
I'm praying you will Be Inspired!